There are two types of narcissists. One is a person who is self-absorbed and obsessed with their attire and everything involving their looks or what they own. This is, of course, not
the type we are dealing with in an abusive relationship. The other kind, however, is a genuine psychological disorder, and if you are not aware of this you will find yourself the victim of
narcissistic manipulation. Many of us ended up in unhealthy relationships because, in the beginning, our partners held up a false front. We felt or thought that we had met our
soul mate; found the perfect partner; met that one special person in the universe. Later, usually, after we’ve made a binding commitment like marriage, or sometimes after the relationship changes due to children being born, a job change, or other major life changes, our partner shows a completely different side. The person who was once perfect now can become angry, demeaning, demanding, and harshly critical. When alcohol or drugs are involved, the substance abuse usually takes a big step up, too. From someone we have deep feelings for, these actions are brutal. Yet we may still have strong feelings of love pulling us to that person. Talk about being torn! A key aspect of narcissists is they have a sense of entitlement. Everyone deserves things like equal protection under the law, but narcissists are particularly entitled. If they don’t get their way, they become upset, because, in a narcissist’s mind, the world is supposed to revolve around them.
A relationship with a narcissist doesn’t follow what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. Narcissists believe relationships are a matter of power, and if they feel like their power is being thwarted, they’ll become hostile. Empathy is a challenge for narcissists because they have a hard time putting themselves in another person’s shoes. They tend to demand to be in control of things as their strong sense of entitlement makes it appear to be logical that they should be in control of everything and everyone around them. The narcissist often has an extremely high need and expectation for everything in their life- from work to people -to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect in all aspects, and as a result of these high expectations, they want those in their lives to be perfect. One of the most difficult to deal with is a narcissist’s lack of accountability and how they blame others for their problems or faults. They lack boundaries. Hence, a narcissist is shocked and highly insulted when they are told no or to do something that does not line up with their desires. If a narcissist wants something from you, they will go to great
lengths to figure out and conjure up a plan to get it from you with manipulation tactics, threats, or simply a temper tantrum. When a narcissist begins to overstep their boundaries stand your ground and keep them in their place by expressing your needs and not letting them get away with their selfish behavior.