She stays because she hopes things will change.
There is a cycle of violence which appears to have three stages.
These are the tension building phase; the explosion; and the calm loving
respite. It is the third phase that keeps women in a violent relationship.
It is a period of calm, a period where the batterer may behave in a
charming and loving way. He is usually sorry for his actions and begs for
forgiveness. He promises never to be violent again. During this time, he
believes his promises and believes he can control himself.
She stays because of the children.
Women will cling to the fallacy that keeping the family together for the
sake of the children, whereas in reality, for the sake of the children, the
couple should separate. The victim often feels that the children love their
father and that he is a good parent. But, when the children begin to
display signs of violence, or when the children are also hurt, during a
violent act, she may then decide they must leave. Violence is a “learned
behavior” and by remaining in the situation, her message is that this is
acceptable.
She stays because of economic dependence.
Many women stay in an abusive relationship because she does not want to
deprive her children of the lifestyle they have become accustomed to. If
she does not have the means to support them, she becomes trapped by the
situation. It is the same scenario for women in a lower economic situation.
She does not have the means to afford shelter, food, etc. for children.
She feels she has no place to go.
In general, family abuse is considered a private affair by the police, the
courts, and a large segment of the population. Because of this, the victim
can face a discouraging array of obstacles when she decides to escape her
abuser. Friends and family, often, do not want to be involved. And many
women do not want to live in a shelter/communal atmosphere.
It is her duty to stay in the relationship.
They feel they must preserve the family unit regardless of the situation,
either for religious reasons or for family values they were raised
believing in.