Narcissists are a very different breed of people. If you have a narcissistic parent, they will probably seem to others like a generous and fun-loving person. Your mother or father might even seem quite charming to many and magnetic.
Narcissistic people can put you in a bad light even if they’re in the wrong. They’ll be viewed as protective and as though they only want the best for you, however, when you’re alone all the pretense falls away and you’re back to being ridiculed and criticized.
Some of the signs that indicate you were raised by a narcissist are:
You’re unsure of what you want or who you truly are
This is most likely due to all the years you’ve spent pleasing your parent at your own expense. You were never allowed to be yourself, only who your parent wanted you to be. Due to the grandiosity of your parent and having to fall at their feet just to avoid being ridiculed, you lost your sense of self.
Your self worth is determined by your achievements
Because you’ve been conditioned in such a way, you believe that the more you achieve, the more worthy you are.
When you have a narcissistic parent, you’re loved conditionally instead of unconditionally. You’re viewed as useful and important when you achieve great things that your parent can brag about to others. Unfortunately, this continues throughout your life.
You feel envious or resentful of your sibling
If you’ve had a sibling, chances are you’ve been pinned against them and compared to them. When a narcissist has two children, one child is often the golden child and the other is the black sheep. Two people with two completely different childhoods from the same parent.
You’re a walkover
Your parent most likely ensured that you felt inferior, insecure, and unsure of yourself just to make it easier to get what they desired.
You may have been told that your needs don’t matter and that you should do everything in your power to make sure they get their’s met. If you did this you were viewed as useful and competent to an extent.
You’re afraid of becoming like your parent
Parents are people we look up to as we grow older. They should be the people to guide us through life so that we can become successful independent adults. This is not the case with narcissistic parents.
You were broken down and emotionally exploited for their benefit. You fear becoming like them because of how terrible they made you feel. This is one of the biggest indicators that you were raised by a narcissist.
Having a narcissistic parent can be quite daunting, especially if you’re trying to gain your independence and autonomy. One of the biggest signs that you were raised by a narcissistic parent is the fact that you’re afraid of how they’ll react when you haven’t done as well as they expected you to.